Welcome to the Holidays

So my favorite thing about any holiday is definitely not people. I really don't care what holiday you choose, it meaning real or implied, or even what time of the year it falls in. Holidays make everyone just a bit phsyco. Only some of get really strange, but all of us are not at our best.

I have a friend who has recently suffered an incredible injustice. Now when hearing about it most people say "Why would someone do that so close to Christmas?" What they should say is "Why would someone do that at all?" Not to be a scrooge or anything but, shouldn't you be expected to treat people with love and respect at all times? Not just because some people are way off on Christs birthday and all that?

What I would like to point out is that we should all conduct ourselves as though everyday is Christmas. No, I don't mean blow every dime you make on ridiculous gifts you can't afford, that no one really needs anyway. I mean, stop to think before you speak or act and consider how someone else might feel. Make every day with your loved ones special, spread love and good spirits (not meaning whiskey, and such) all the time.

The world my friends would be an amazing place if only Christians would be christian to each other! Well that really goes for any faith I suppose. I can't think of a faith in which god would ask you to be an ass to the people around you, but I'm sure there is one out there somewhere.

Don't leave this without understanding that I really am not a fan of many holidays lately. The best thing about them is the fact that there are so many goodies available, and food is everywhere! Currently I'm trying out my own advice and I'll let you know how it goes. Does it count if I try with people I know will never be decent and just? Oh well I guess it will just have to be harder than I thought.

Holidays

Holidays are hard I've decided, but the candy is worth it right? Meh, not this year. Never been a fan of doing the whole family together thing, travelling to visit, or even obligatory phone calls to distant relatives you don't even really know. Bah Humbug right?

Oh well, my simple wish is that one holiday in the future is exactly what I would like. No visits to cranky in-laws, or fighting with cousins. Just my little family somewhere warm sleeping in, opening a few great gifts. Maybe we'd have some Christmas Crepe's when we got hungry or just munch down on fatty junk food and Coke. Not to much right?

My plan, cause I have to have a plan I'm OCD like that, would have to start with just getting someplace warm! I hate the cold, even though the snow is all festive and what not. Personally it makes me want to puke! Its cold, wet, awful to drive in, worse to shovel, and there's something in it that makes people drive like assholes. Maybe its the chemicals in the road salt seeping into their scalps. I don't know and I really don't care either. Just wish they'd stop driving, and breeding! Either way if we were someplace warm then it'd be sunny and happy right.

I hate family parties! Ah hell, it all boils down to... the in-laws hate me. It's ok cause hate isn't really a strong enough word for how I feel about them. What really bothers me is that their intent is to separate my family and love us in pieces. UNACCEPTABLE!!!!! I know they don't like me, I know they don't think Josh is worth the shit they took this morning, Tristin will be last seasons fashion as soon the youngest boy has his new baby. Hell, Tristin was last season when Ashley started bringing her baby girl around! Poor kiddo. They invite Josh and Tristin but not me, no big right.

Wrong again, you can love family in pieces. You either love them and respect the choices they make or you leave them alone right? Not these people, they want to torture you (well Josh). They want to bait you with their love and affection then pull it out from underneath you when it matters most. Sure I love my husband but I will never understand why he allows these creatures to treat him this way. Not only do I worry about him but my baby too. Who is to say that they will not play this game with him as well?

Frustrating. I hate that I even waste my time thinking about them! Either way, do I allow them to divide us so I stay home and Josh and baby go for holiday parties? Or, do I sit through their total lack of respect for me my husband and deal with the dirty looks and snide remarks? Stupid people really shouldn't bread, I wish I could convince them to stop.

Vindicated

So today my favorite song is Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional!

It just really seems to fit lately. Few random thoughts though.... There is this verse that goes:

"So clear

Like the diamond in your ring

Cut to mirror your intentions

Oversized and overwhelmed

The shine of which has caught my eye

And rendered me so isolated, so motivated."

I love my wedding ring it belonged to my great grandmother who I was named after. Of course its not a traditional wedding band, just a regular ring. Proving that I'm a non-comformist (sarcasim). What I really mean is that its unique like me! So, the diamonds are single cuts which the jeweler says they don't do anymore. I don't know, but the point is they're small so does that mean I didn't have many intentions, or a lack of motivation entering this marriage?

And if thats the case, Josh's ring doesn't have any stones in it! Does that mean he no intentions to make this work?!? LMAO. Ok really I just love this verse because I think that all to often its true. What I'm saying is that a lot of girls get married with intentions as to what will change and how they will "mold" thier hubby into thier dream guy.

I've been around, not a lot, but definately enough to know that there is no "dream" guy or girl. Everyone has faults. As someone with many many faults I'm just glad that there are people out there still taking the very bad with the not so good, in trade for a relaxed and fun personality.

I really ought to post all the lyrics I just love this song lately. It's well put together, clearly sung and all around a wonderful listening expierience!

While I'm out pimpin my music tastes: Everyone check out Royal Bliss! You will never be dissapointed. They are awesome on CD and even better in concert! I have never seen a better concert in my life. Royal Bliss always has consistant performances too! Every concert is as good or better than the last. Finally Utah has a local band worth raving about! Ok, ok I'm done, but really check them out. My favorite songs are: "We did nothing wrong." "Save Me" "Pocket of dreams" and "Brave". Well ok I cut the list short I love them all.

Damn it I love music! I could go forever about stuff I love, songs I don't mind all that but I'll spare ya just check out Royal Bliss. Remember though music is not just a string of words that sound pretty. Its about telling a story and connecting to people, so its ok to love music and get all silly emotional when you listen to it. Thats what its there for!!!

Nature vs Nurture

I have a problem with people.... Imagine that!
I have a problem with people who are complete morons thinking only about themselves! Today a friend was berated by her father, today a child was beaten, a mother didn't get to see her baby cause his daddy is mad she's not still with him. Today people are stupid and selfish.

My husband and I talk often about Nature vs Nurture. General concept is: some people believe you are all about Nature, you are either born this way or not, Others believe that you are what your environment growing up makes you. I believe there is a mixture of both.

In a nutshell I believe the following:

Women, if you are in a relationship where you are allowing a man to beat you and your children, or even just you. Your kids will be predispositioned to allow themselves into that situation! Very few children are strong enough to figure out on their own that this is not how people who truly love each other act. You are setting them an example of how to live their lives!

Men or women, If you have a children, and you make comments to them indicating they are fat, unattractive, stupid, or clumsy, these are NOT jokes! This is goes for significant others as well. You are the joke!

Parents, if you want your children to succeed and hold value in the things they do and who they are YOU must value them and yourselves!!!! Don't pull your kids out of school in Junior high and then think you gave them a fair shake at life. If you do you are an absolute idiot! DO NOT use your children as leverage against an ex-spouse. Children are not toys and definitely not pawns. If you are using them as such, it is a game you will most definitely lose and it's because you are to dumb ass.

I was lucky to have parents who supported me, valued my education, showed me affection, clothed and fed me, pushed me to be better and allowed me to fall. For this I am grateful every day of my life. I understand that I was an ass as a child, unruly as a teenager, and whiny in my twenties. Everything I am was influenced by two people who weren't always right, but did their best. It breaks my heart to hear of people who grew up like my husband. Alone.

As a child he learned to be an adult quickly. Josh did for himself and fought to stay in school and get an education that was just handed to me. All that I held dear in my childhood was refused him in his. Yet he triumphed and here we are struggling but hopeful and well prepared to fight for what we want! The love that was given to me taught me to offer him the love he's never known. I have for him the unconditional love and the will to stick with it that he has never experienced before.

We are the contradictory examples of Nature vs Nurture! I was nurtured to be confident, driven, respect myself, respect others, value an education and pursue my dreams. Josh is the one who fought against everything his early education taught him. He has pride in what he does, understands that education is the key to success, respects those who deserve it, and is endlessly hopeful that they will respect him. I will always be amazed at the tolerance he is able to show others, and the love he offers them even though he KNOWS he will never get any in return.

I suppose that Josh got the short end of the stick and I probably got a longer stick than most. The differences in our childhoods gave us the same ideals and taught us how to make together. The happy part of the story comes down to our child will be well taught and very well loved, regardless of what else happens.

In conclusion, I would like to urge you all to offer your children, or partners, the love and attention every soul needs. Teach them the the way I was taught, do not make them suffer in loneliness and abandonment that my love had to feel. Love those around you and they will love you back, even if they don't know how to show it.

The value of drive time!

Things we all do while driving...
How long does it take to send a text message? 60-90 seconds?
Picking and changing a CD just a minute, Right?
Flirting with that really hot guy.... 5 minutes.
Now me I drive a lot faster than that, which is compounded by always being in a hurry for something. I'll be completely honest with you I am a HORRIBLE driver. The first year or two I had my license I was in about 8 wrecks. Luckily my skill has improved greatly!

When I was learning to drive my BIL told me something I'll never forget! Shan said "If you are driving at 60mph (yeah like that's going to happen) you are traveling a mile a min." 60 seconds and you've gone a mile! Pretty simple logic right, but a profound thought. Think of all the things you pass in a mile. On average a Nascar race track is about a mile long or 60 seconds long @60mph. Translation for those who aren't getting it.... A LOT HAPPENS IN 1 MILE!!!!!!

That one text message that couldn't wait, that song you just had to hear, the cute guy in the other car. Exactly how long were you not looking? One mile maybe two? Do you even really know? Could you make an honest guess?

Now you must understand I was steaming mad from some guy cutting me off when I was doing 95 in the fast lane. This thought occurred to me as traffic slowed and I was berating myself regarding my short temper. There had been an accident I was passing now. The smoking remnants of a four door Mazda. All the doors had been cut away the victims long since on an ambulance, two fire engines putting out the flames. Who I wondered, was mad they got cut off by this car? Recently I seem to be a lil more emotional than usual so I was ashamed. Honestly I almost cried, I could have caused something like that being so impatient.

From now on I will pin this thought to my need for speed: Is that extra 5min or that one car length, worth the lives of the people in the other car? Is it really worth the lives of the people in my car? Truly, I say nothing is more important than the souls travelling with me!!