Nature vs Nurture

I have a problem with people.... Imagine that!
I have a problem with people who are complete morons thinking only about themselves! Today a friend was berated by her father, today a child was beaten, a mother didn't get to see her baby cause his daddy is mad she's not still with him. Today people are stupid and selfish.

My husband and I talk often about Nature vs Nurture. General concept is: some people believe you are all about Nature, you are either born this way or not, Others believe that you are what your environment growing up makes you. I believe there is a mixture of both.

In a nutshell I believe the following:

Women, if you are in a relationship where you are allowing a man to beat you and your children, or even just you. Your kids will be predispositioned to allow themselves into that situation! Very few children are strong enough to figure out on their own that this is not how people who truly love each other act. You are setting them an example of how to live their lives!

Men or women, If you have a children, and you make comments to them indicating they are fat, unattractive, stupid, or clumsy, these are NOT jokes! This is goes for significant others as well. You are the joke!

Parents, if you want your children to succeed and hold value in the things they do and who they are YOU must value them and yourselves!!!! Don't pull your kids out of school in Junior high and then think you gave them a fair shake at life. If you do you are an absolute idiot! DO NOT use your children as leverage against an ex-spouse. Children are not toys and definitely not pawns. If you are using them as such, it is a game you will most definitely lose and it's because you are to dumb ass.

I was lucky to have parents who supported me, valued my education, showed me affection, clothed and fed me, pushed me to be better and allowed me to fall. For this I am grateful every day of my life. I understand that I was an ass as a child, unruly as a teenager, and whiny in my twenties. Everything I am was influenced by two people who weren't always right, but did their best. It breaks my heart to hear of people who grew up like my husband. Alone.

As a child he learned to be an adult quickly. Josh did for himself and fought to stay in school and get an education that was just handed to me. All that I held dear in my childhood was refused him in his. Yet he triumphed and here we are struggling but hopeful and well prepared to fight for what we want! The love that was given to me taught me to offer him the love he's never known. I have for him the unconditional love and the will to stick with it that he has never experienced before.

We are the contradictory examples of Nature vs Nurture! I was nurtured to be confident, driven, respect myself, respect others, value an education and pursue my dreams. Josh is the one who fought against everything his early education taught him. He has pride in what he does, understands that education is the key to success, respects those who deserve it, and is endlessly hopeful that they will respect him. I will always be amazed at the tolerance he is able to show others, and the love he offers them even though he KNOWS he will never get any in return.

I suppose that Josh got the short end of the stick and I probably got a longer stick than most. The differences in our childhoods gave us the same ideals and taught us how to make together. The happy part of the story comes down to our child will be well taught and very well loved, regardless of what else happens.

In conclusion, I would like to urge you all to offer your children, or partners, the love and attention every soul needs. Teach them the the way I was taught, do not make them suffer in loneliness and abandonment that my love had to feel. Love those around you and they will love you back, even if they don't know how to show it.