Nature vs Nurture

I have a problem with people.... Imagine that!
I have a problem with people who are complete morons thinking only about themselves! Today a friend was berated by her father, today a child was beaten, a mother didn't get to see her baby cause his daddy is mad she's not still with him. Today people are stupid and selfish.

My husband and I talk often about Nature vs Nurture. General concept is: some people believe you are all about Nature, you are either born this way or not, Others believe that you are what your environment growing up makes you. I believe there is a mixture of both.

In a nutshell I believe the following:

Women, if you are in a relationship where you are allowing a man to beat you and your children, or even just you. Your kids will be predispositioned to allow themselves into that situation! Very few children are strong enough to figure out on their own that this is not how people who truly love each other act. You are setting them an example of how to live their lives!

Men or women, If you have a children, and you make comments to them indicating they are fat, unattractive, stupid, or clumsy, these are NOT jokes! This is goes for significant others as well. You are the joke!

Parents, if you want your children to succeed and hold value in the things they do and who they are YOU must value them and yourselves!!!! Don't pull your kids out of school in Junior high and then think you gave them a fair shake at life. If you do you are an absolute idiot! DO NOT use your children as leverage against an ex-spouse. Children are not toys and definitely not pawns. If you are using them as such, it is a game you will most definitely lose and it's because you are to dumb ass.

I was lucky to have parents who supported me, valued my education, showed me affection, clothed and fed me, pushed me to be better and allowed me to fall. For this I am grateful every day of my life. I understand that I was an ass as a child, unruly as a teenager, and whiny in my twenties. Everything I am was influenced by two people who weren't always right, but did their best. It breaks my heart to hear of people who grew up like my husband. Alone.

As a child he learned to be an adult quickly. Josh did for himself and fought to stay in school and get an education that was just handed to me. All that I held dear in my childhood was refused him in his. Yet he triumphed and here we are struggling but hopeful and well prepared to fight for what we want! The love that was given to me taught me to offer him the love he's never known. I have for him the unconditional love and the will to stick with it that he has never experienced before.

We are the contradictory examples of Nature vs Nurture! I was nurtured to be confident, driven, respect myself, respect others, value an education and pursue my dreams. Josh is the one who fought against everything his early education taught him. He has pride in what he does, understands that education is the key to success, respects those who deserve it, and is endlessly hopeful that they will respect him. I will always be amazed at the tolerance he is able to show others, and the love he offers them even though he KNOWS he will never get any in return.

I suppose that Josh got the short end of the stick and I probably got a longer stick than most. The differences in our childhoods gave us the same ideals and taught us how to make together. The happy part of the story comes down to our child will be well taught and very well loved, regardless of what else happens.

In conclusion, I would like to urge you all to offer your children, or partners, the love and attention every soul needs. Teach them the the way I was taught, do not make them suffer in loneliness and abandonment that my love had to feel. Love those around you and they will love you back, even if they don't know how to show it.

The value of drive time!

Things we all do while driving...
How long does it take to send a text message? 60-90 seconds?
Picking and changing a CD just a minute, Right?
Flirting with that really hot guy.... 5 minutes.
Now me I drive a lot faster than that, which is compounded by always being in a hurry for something. I'll be completely honest with you I am a HORRIBLE driver. The first year or two I had my license I was in about 8 wrecks. Luckily my skill has improved greatly!

When I was learning to drive my BIL told me something I'll never forget! Shan said "If you are driving at 60mph (yeah like that's going to happen) you are traveling a mile a min." 60 seconds and you've gone a mile! Pretty simple logic right, but a profound thought. Think of all the things you pass in a mile. On average a Nascar race track is about a mile long or 60 seconds long @60mph. Translation for those who aren't getting it.... A LOT HAPPENS IN 1 MILE!!!!!!

That one text message that couldn't wait, that song you just had to hear, the cute guy in the other car. Exactly how long were you not looking? One mile maybe two? Do you even really know? Could you make an honest guess?

Now you must understand I was steaming mad from some guy cutting me off when I was doing 95 in the fast lane. This thought occurred to me as traffic slowed and I was berating myself regarding my short temper. There had been an accident I was passing now. The smoking remnants of a four door Mazda. All the doors had been cut away the victims long since on an ambulance, two fire engines putting out the flames. Who I wondered, was mad they got cut off by this car? Recently I seem to be a lil more emotional than usual so I was ashamed. Honestly I almost cried, I could have caused something like that being so impatient.

From now on I will pin this thought to my need for speed: Is that extra 5min or that one car length, worth the lives of the people in the other car? Is it really worth the lives of the people in my car? Truly, I say nothing is more important than the souls travelling with me!!